While for some Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate and look forward to, for those who have lost their own Mother the lead up to Mother’s Day can be fraught with sadness and difficulty.
Regardless of whether your grief is fresh or if it’s been many years since you’ve lost your mum, here are some tips to help you cope with grief on Mother’s Day.
Give yourself permission to grieve
Sometimes the lead up to Mother’s Day can be harder than the day itself. Understanding that this is going to be a difficult time and giving yourself the space and permission to grieve can help. As can letting it all out and having a good cry if you need it. Grief is a process and an important human emotion, it reminds us that we love.
Focus on self care
Treating yourself with gentleness and care can make a big difference to how you feel on the day. Rather than pushing yourself to accept invites that you may not feel comfortable attending, plan a day where you can focus on what you want to do. That might be spending time alone or with other family members.
Consider staying off social media
Social media is always awash with happy Mother’s Day posts and sometimes continuously scrolling through everyone else’s happiness and family gatherings only serves to shine a spotlight on what you are missing out on. So, if you feel that might be the case, sign out of your social media accounts and enjoy a digital detox for the day.
Mark the day in a way that’s special to you
Spending the day in a way that helps you celebrate your mum’s life can help you feel closer to your mum and start a new tradition that helps you look forward to the day in years to come. Whether it’s by bringing new flowers to the cemetery, lighting a scented candle or planting a special memorial garden, look for something you enjoy that will also help you keep your mum’s memory alive.
Focus on the good memories
Focusing on the things you loved most about your mum and some of your most cherished memories together can be a way that you feel connected on Mother’s Day. Keeping her memory alive by telling these stories to your children and grandchildren is also a great way to keep these precious family stories passing down to the next generation.
Lastly, if you are having an especially hard time don’t be afraid to open up to a family member or a professional counsellor. A good place to start if you are struggling is to call GriefLine on 1300 845 745.